Why do we fear, fear?
FEAR FEAR FEAR
What is it about fear that makes us stiffen and go into fight or flight mode?
This is such an interesting topic, and also so relevant to the career space because so many people feel fear when they're wanting to make a career change, or a big life decision. Actually most times most people want to try something new they feel this fear come up into their body.
But here’s the thing, a lot of people have a huge misconception around what fear actually is. Especially when it's perceived fear, when in discomfort. Meaning that at this moment in time, although I'm feeling fearful and uncomfortable (as though I'm about to face a threat), we need to really be curious. It’s hard, but you have to pause and think, am I actually in danger right now?
When you feel that fear rising up, perhaps around asking for a pay rise or applying for a new job, stop and ask yourself:
OK, am I in danger right now? No. OK.
Am I being chased by a lion right now? No. OK
Am I about to be attacked right now? No. OK.
Unless there is actually a lion chasing you or an imminent attack, then your fear is something called a perceived fear. It’s your brain telling you that you’re in danger, when you’re actually not. A lot of people actually experience this, and run on this day-to-day even though they're not actually being threatened. They exist in fight or flight mode. This could be you, and there are so many reasons why.
Maybe it's because your boss has been rude and short to you, and suddenly you feel like you’re freezing, or wanting to run. This could be because maybe something happened in the past where you've experienced some trauma and you've had some sort of experience that made you feel a certain way. And so you've made the neural connection. Your brain understands that this experience is “bad “and therefore sends you fear signals to run away to where it's safe.
Experiencing this kind of reaction to fear can be very painful, and so your brain and nervous system will do anything to avoid the pain or perceived threat. Because of this, in this moment when you’re faced with perceived fear, it will bring up these feelings as if you're about to be chased by a lion or a bear, or about to be attacked in some way.
In this situation, you really need to first and foremost assess that, especially when you are making any decision for your life or career and you start to feel fear creep into your body - a lot of people make decisions from fear and a lot of people make decisions from avoiding that discomfort, and The thing is, is that that feeling within you, that neural connexion that is wired in your brain will never break, or will never be released.
If you don't do something in the face of that feeling, if you don't do something differently, if you don't take a different action, that will forever live within you, and so no matter what you're doing you are stuck in this “story” or program.
You may be presented with new opportunities in the future, but you will not take them because you’re stuck and so you're going to keep avoiding them because you have programmed yourself and anchored this perceived fear onto feeling uncomfortable or scared for change.
If this is resonating with you, don’t worry there are so many tools that you can implement to remove these neural connections and replace them with self-serving beliefs instead.
If you are curious to learn more books in a coaching session, let's rewire your thoughts to create your reality from abundance and not from fear!
If you do feel as though you may want some help rewiring your reactions, perhaps one solution could be NLP, which I can absolutely help you with. NLP can also go hand-in-hand with building your confidence, to know what when you’re faced with a perceived threat and feel that fear- actually, you can handle it.
And if you’re feeling like you may want some support to make some exciting, but seemingly-scary career moves, I’m 110% here for you and would love to connect!
Amie xx